Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Hard Things

As I think about the days events, and the hard things I am dealing with... I think about doing "Hard Things"...

A few weeks ago on a Saturday, I woke up early to see my older brother pass by as he was running a marathon. As he passed by he was hurting and about 20 miles into it. I sat there watching my bro, as he was doing a hard thing...on purpose. He ached and winced as he kept going, and kept running. All for the purpose of "doing it", and facing himself. It is self against self, when you run a marathon, it is a question of "keeping going", and not giving up. Giving up is not an option... That is the expected attitude as one takes on a task like that.

Is the rest of life always that simple? Is there a time when switching directions and changing course is "the better thing to do". Or should we always stay "THE COURSE", and to give up is not an option. I think when it comes to personal convictions, principles, and values... YES!!... stay the course and do your best. If you get off course, get back on course, and stick to it. Other areas of life I question...

I guess we must all decide what path we wish to take. Which is not always easy, when one is lost and confused. I admit that I have hurt (not on purpose) people by not being clear and decisive. I have learned much by my mistakes and flaws. I was reading the other day and I'll quote and paraphrase some of it…

"Sometimes in life you meet and even love someone that shows you things you never would have otherwise learned… They in ways are a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back (your own flaws, faults, and all), the person who brings you to your own attention of YOU, so you can change your life. THIS SOMEONE IS PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON YOU'LL EVER MEET, because they tear down your walls, and smack you awake... They come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, then they leave. And thank God that they came... Their purpose was to shake you up, drive you to new levels of discovery, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart so wide open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life! Then introduce you to The Divine, and allow God to take over from there".

This is a hard thing to face, and sometimes I feel like i can't even go on... and I don't even want to anymore. I personally feel (a lot of times) like NOT going on unless it's with the one or those I love... It seems too empty and without purpose.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Chillin with my little one...

Woke up this morning an watched the world cup soccer match between USA and Algeria. Donavan scoring the only goal in the last minute of play!!!

So sweet to watch our team win, and make it to the final 16 teams... GO USA!!
Avery and I are just hanging out today, and enjoying being lazy... She wants to write something too:

Avery: Hi im Avery... Matthews daughter. My favorite colors are light Pink, baby blue,and lime green. I am 9 and a half years old. I love to dance, sing, and cook. My daddy thinks Im a good cook. If you where wondering what kind of dance I do i will tell you, I do ballet,ballroom, Jazz, and gymnastics. xoxoxoxoxo Byyyyyyyyyyyyyye.

A kiss from Avery on a victorious morning for the USA! Summer is officially here, and kidos make it so much fun!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

To my Father, and the men in my life, that took it upon themselves to go out of their way on my behalf as I grew up... There were even small things that were done that I remember as a young man. You remembered my birthdays,... you stepped in when I needed it and bailed me out so many times. You put me on a mission, and encouraged me with your prayers and letters. You taught me to fight and focus on that which I want. You taught me with your good and bad examples, that in the end, teach how to...and how NOT to...in my life.
I write this and thank you for your hand in shaping me... I have much to learn to measure up to most of you, but I am trying. I am "willing" to try and try again, as we all journey in this thing called life.
I watched my brother and his wife today, as they prepare to welcome yet another child into the world. They are an example to me, in being grounded in what's really important. They are a team and truly are co-creators as they create and raise their young family...
I love my brothers, and they are great Dads.
Happy Fathers' Day to all reading, and to MY DAD!! God bless!!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Recent Interview...

I just recently did a small interview that is somewhat hiding within this blog... I decided to bring it to the forefront so its a bit more visible, and invite readers to take a look.

Click Here to check it out :)

Friday, June 11, 2010

Home Sweet Home :)

It's Friday and I'm home home home... Love It!! :) So nice to just be home and do "home stuff"!!! World Cup soccer on TV (muted), music playing, got laundry in the works, and I'm making a sandwich with chips/salsa (favorite fresh salsa from Days market)!! Yum Yum!!
Love Being Home!!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

"In the end...Who cares...what does it matter"?

I watch and listen as people talk with friends and loved ones they've had for years. They will recount this or that experience and laugh, and even cry at the thought... yet those golden memories are now compounded and enhanced as they are shared and re-shared. I think of how those experiences, over the years of recalling and retelling, become the gems of life to be relived and retold with those we love. How rich our lives become as the experiences compound with time, and of course the new stories that are discovered... Only to be added into the mix of "remember that ONE time when we...." How special when one is able to have a loved one, with whom they can travel through life and share...
But how altogether more sad it is when people that are unable to share with each other anymore. Hurt and bitterness become the replacement of love.. causing distance and "protecting myself from hurt" become the focus. Walls are then built to cope, and then in the end, love was unable to prevail. Now, instead of "remember when we..."; it only becomes a distant faded past that is (on purpose) ignored...all in the name of moving on, and trying to forget. I say... WHY?!?!
Why do the memories created in love have to be spoiled because of current circumstance? They were once thoughts that filled us with love and a smile, and are they not still the same thoughts as they were before? Can't memories and feelings be allowed to stand as they were? Why can't I build a monument in your honor inside my heart? Why can't I allow those rooms of my soul to forever be occupied by you? When life and love is shared and created, why must I have to let it go, to create room for another? Hell no!! WHY?? I say keep it. All that was and is good, and fills you with love inside...KEEP!!!! God is expansive and forever and so is love. And so I choose to keep what is mine that I was given Min... People become bitter over time if love isn't allowed to prevail. God shows us and teaches us love, and we can either keep it so it lives inside us, or let it go... I want to keep it. Hoard it... and allow it to fill up my soul.
And so I therefore choose to keep you... As the part of me that you are....and always will be. It's NOT your choice!! It's mine!! Living and breathing memories, that will forever be with me. So when my mind decides to visit those rooms that have you in them, I'm going to let it explore all it wants to. Why not smile? "In the end...what does it matter"? Well, to me... it does. You see,... I have to live with me...and I don't want to live in torment or bitterness. I want love to live. It doesn't have to be stifled or ignored, it CAN live... I choose to let it BE!

So as the years pass, and as my mind tells me stories of "Remember when..." I will lovingly recall the stories that are told and retold of you! Thank you....Hi

Thursday, June 3, 2010

NFL Hall of Fame!

We took at bit to see the hall of fame yesterday... Canton, OH baby...
John Elway and The Broncos... Grew up in the Denver area, so I had to commemorate the Elway shrine... :)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Knock knock ... it's fate knocking

"Fate rarely calls on us at a moment of our choosing"...
Optimus Prime (Haha)
I heard this the other day, and loved it... I ask myself... do I respond when fate comes knocking? I can say that I have responded at times, and at other times..., I haven't responded at all. I often wonder if that will bring sorrow and regret. Perhaps, but then the question is, how does one know when it's fate calling, or the meanderings of our own minds? Good question to ask, and even better... to find the answers to this one! :)


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