Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I create my life...

I create my life, and the things that happen in my life are a direct result of what I put out there into the Universe. To sit and blame is to avoid responsibility of ones own actions. It's also displays a clear lack of someone's ability to overcome conflict peacefully. People that look at a situation, and don't see that they had something to do with what happened TO THEM...well that's just blind, and immature.
In business... the person that blames everyone else for their lack. It's the governments' fault, or President so an so's fault. They complain and then get mad, and blame everyone else... Their boss is a jerk, they never get brakes, it's ALWAYS someone else's fault!!
Similar in relationships, people blame and complain...and literally feel like they themselves have nothing to do with it.
FEAR is usually the cause of it all. Its scary to have to look at one's SELF and explore for answers. People around us would rather build their own case, point fingers with that UGLY finger of blame, and reenforce that wall that is put up so that nobody can really see in. Their idea of conflict resolution is... "fire those around you, and just fill that space with something or someone else that complies with my simple and shallow perception". Heaven forbid they actually look inside themselves, understanding themselves, analyze how their very situation has everything to do with their OWN actions, and learn how to correct it, and move forward. Nope... They would rather avoid self introspection, and blame instead... "It's their fault for how I feel! It's someone els's fault as to why I'm without financial stability. It's so and so's fault why I'm hurting...it's because they didn't love me enough".
All of these ways of thinking are so prevalent in the world today. In my speaking career, I speak to those that come to my conferences and just complain about how they were wronged in one way or another. All of them feeling a sense of entitlement, that they are owed something. It's ugly to witness!! I admit that it makes me work harder (in my presentations) so that hopefully they will see that there are ways to produce a different outcome, and be in a better place, but it requires work and effort, and one must stop blaming others.
I've seen this in relationships too. That sense of gratitude between two people, quickly turns to a sense of entitlement. Like they are owed something because they showed prior love or kindness in one way or another. The constant blaming gets nowhere! Gratitude quickly turns to entitlement and expectations. When expectations aren't met, they are hurt beyond belief, and now owed. Thus the ledger is born. The ledger is the list of things they did for you (compared to the wrongs that you have done) that they throw at you every time you may step out of line. "I did this, this, and that for you...so you owe me". That is no way to live...to constantly have the ledger thrown at you. We all have a part in what happens us!!!!! It's just a cowards' game to jump to conclusions, build a case with false and unsubstantiated whispers, and not look at themselves in the mirror, and just blame. Then to go to the next worse level, and start with name calling...? Wow, that is one of the biggest displays of the fact that most people never get out of the 6th grade emotionally. They would rather talk crap, gossip (and believe the gossip), and point their fingers and blame blame blame. Avoiding any responsibility of their own in what is happening TO THEM!!! I know how ridiculous that sounds. The thought that one has nothing to do with the pain and hurt that they themselves feel.

We must all take a step back and personally take an inventory of our OWN lives, and things we do and think, that ultimately contribute to what continues to happen to US. Accept and forgive where needed, and emerge with new resolve to remember that WE CREATE OUR LIVES. Accept the responsibility, and not blame others for our own pain, lack of money, lack of love, or lack of anything. We live once, and I'm grateful for people that have come into my life lately that are positive owners of their own lives. They do not hand me their emotional bill to pay. They are willing to pay their own, as i pay mine. :)


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