Friday, July 30, 2010

In Control...?

Control... Such an odd word that has both positive and negative connotations to it. The balance between the two is ever so slight and precise, and it think its easy to swing from wanting to "be in control"...yet without being "controlling". Sometimes it's hard to feel that balance. I have some things that are going on in my life right now, where I do not agree with them at all, yet as I analyze how much I should actively participate, and weather or not to get involved more than I am...borders that line of crossing from being in being controlling. I admit that I FEEL like I want to intervene and do it "my way"...but then again, maybe I should allow things to play out and take their natural course and unfold on its own. I also admit that it frustrates me and even makes me withdraw with anger as I watch from afar...

So... I sit down and write, and my anger subsides as I plug in the headphones, and do my "zen thing". I guess as I get older, its getting more and more clear weather or not I should make a fuss over things, or just let them be. Discerning that which deserves my energy to change, and that which I should just accept. I know I can't control everything in my life, because there are moving parts and moving people in my life. Somethings are out of my control, and I don't want to control them all. People will be what they want, and do what they do... I guess in the end, I can only take charge of myself, and allow others to do as they wish.

From the book "Atlas Shrugged" I am reminded of the great Hank Reardon as he stated... "Somethings matter because I say they matter". Things outside what we actually value in our they really matter?

Pick your battles...

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