I have been up most of the night thinking. Sometimes the mind is racing and is naturally trying to sort through the "happening of recent days", and put them in their proper mental places (for me)...
To me, this is a process of looking for truth! If I, or someone else is not in line with the truth, then it feels so out of place to me. I have to look at it, and see where its not true, or if it IS true, and I'm not aligned with the truth, then I need adjust myself to align and recognize fault, correct myself, and ask forgiveness for not upholding the truth.
I was reminded of a book, "The Four Agreements" where the author (Don Miguel Ruiz) illustrates 4 simple agreements (or rules) on which we should base the rest of our lives. One of these agreements was "Be Impeccable with Your Word"...the book proceeds to show how our words can be "black magic" and gives good examples of how small things that are said, can have long lasting effects on people; and cause hurt and pain in ourselves and others.
Words can also be "white magic" and establish strong supports and beliefs in ourselves and others. When our words are true, then they only support and build up the overall fabric of life.
Either way.... Words do matter!
Most people think this is pretty "black and white" in nature. That they tell a lie or don't tell a lie. Well, that's a first graders' way of looking at it, and certainly where it begins, but it does go deeper! I see three levels that deserve a look.
1st level... A "Lie" or "Not a Lie"
2nd level... Are your words supportive or destructive to others? Do the things you say hurt or help others? Most mean things that are said (the "black magic spells"), are said in the fit of anger or emotionally charged situations. Even though apologies might be offered. The lasting effect(s) of what was said does not go away so easily. If apologies are made, yet behavior doesn't change, then it can get worse and escalate into a third level...
3rd level... The story you tell YOURSELF after saying something mean as to why you said it,.. is what you said true or not true? Is that person REALLY what you called them or accused them of? (this one is much more difficult to sort through!) A process of asking if your own perspective is true or not true? Much harder to decipher (I think).
How does one really know if their words are casting "dark spells" or not? I think the easiest way to answer that is to look at your own life right now. Evaluate your own "Emotional Net Worth". The net worth in the financial world is the value of your money and assets minus your financial liabilities and debts...whatever is net (or left over) is your net worth. Look at that on an emotional level. Is your current emotion net worth filled with assets or liabilities? Hmmmm!! Good question! Maybe look behind you too (metaphorically speaking) Is your past filled with a wake of disaster and destruction? or of emotionally rewarding assets? Taking ownership of where you are now vs where you've been is important to do on a regular basis.
The truth of where you are right now,...is a direct reflection of what YOU have believed, the words YOU have said, what YOU have done, and the choices YOU have made!
If your life (or even a part of your life) is in shambles, maybe you should stop and look at yourself?! Evaluate what YOU do to contribute to that outcome, and make necessary changes that lead to the life you DO want. It's hard though! To look past the hurtful things said, see what's yours' to correct, and what is not yours' at all. What's true and deserves correction, and what's NOT true and should not be allowed into your own mental blueprint. Release what isn't yours'!!....and do not let mean things said to you (or of you) grow to being part of your own belief about yourself.
On the flip side...our words can be powerful in contributing to the overall value of life. Think of positive words that were once said to you, or you read,.. that you'll never forget. Think of how they changed you and became anchors in your life, on which you have relied in difficult times. Words can support, or they can certainly tear down too.
Oh how the words we say have lasting effect (especially with children!)!!
"In the beginning, there was the word, and word was with God"... God Is Love!! Hopefully our words can be as well!