Friday, December 26, 2014

Older... The storm inside is beginning to dissipate.

The storm inside is beginning to dissipate and leave me.

"Spirit Of A Storm"

"There's a spirit of a storm in my soul
A restlessness that I can't seem to tame
Thunder and lightning follow everywhere I go
There's a spirit of a storm in my soul

Oh, maybe it's just the way I am
maybe I won't ever change
There's a spirit of a storm in my soul"

Kenny Chesney (Lyrics)

This song use to speak to me so much, and represent what I often felt as a younger man.  I didn't understand it much and often was scorned (even shamed) for verbalizing my connection with this song.  Where this storm comes from and why it rages inside the hearts of men is not something to be ignored.  If the origin of his storm goes ignored, then the storm can cause such destruction and pain to himself and those around him.  This storm can even cause a man to throw EVERYTHING away, and bring even the most accomplished man to his knees (perhaps even to his own death)... The storms will rage inside until understood, accepted, and faced!  

Young boys are filled with such wonder and visions of grandeur.  There is no doubt in their minds and hearts that they WILL be a professional ball player, the astronaut, or The President.  Growing, dreaming, and BELIEVING in the greatness of life.  

The storm begins inside for every young man when something happens that teaches this boy that the world is not as he once believed it was... He is let down and so deeply wounded by this realization and he loses that childlike belief... He becomes less than he dreamed he would one day be.  

He spends his time fighting and slaying the dragons of life...thinking this will make him feel good enough.  The next promotion, then next woman, the next conquest....Searching for that feeling of being good enough, strong enough, and worthy again...  No matter what the accomplishment, he can't ever find that feeling of content satisfaction and peace.  

Some submit to a lives of settling...being "grown up" and forgetting childhood dreams...never dreaming again..."welcome to the real world" people say to him...Giving up on dreams long ago, and being told those are just "silly fantasies".  

Mid life... he realizes that his life is halfway over, and looks around seeing that "this is NOT what I had in mind"... Wanting to prove he's still "got it" and is still young...he takes rash measures and goes out and buys that sports car, perhaps even throws his life and family away for "the younger girl"...always reaching for those feelings of youth.  Clearly he will never find that youthful perception that was once his... "THERE'S A SPIRIT OF A STORM IN MY SOUL"...  It rages and rages on, and he will never know why...

I, I've just turned yet another year beginning to feel less of "the storm"...Is this what happens as we men get older?...wiser?...more calm?...  I've been to the circus and I've seen the strings...or the lies and the facade.  Do we finally begin to realize what's real, and what's a lie?  Do we begin to realize that most things are not what society wants us to believe?  I guess I am beginning finally see more for myself what is real (to me) and what is empty.  

I try to go and remember what I once knew as boy...I believed once in the goodness of people.  I believe once that I were worth it.  I forgave easily and loved quickly because that's the way I was made.  "Become as a little child"..."Get in touch with that inner child"... stop looking for happiness from an external source, and realize that I have everything I need inside this heart of mine to be complete and whole...  

I admit that sometimes that feeling of "the storm" comes back and flows heavily through my veins, and sometimes so ferociously way too real!!....but lately...not as much!  

Here's to getting older...hopefully wiser...and so much more calm!

What are your thoughts?  


  1. Introduction
    By Maryse CANOVAS

    I have again been very touched by your thinking ability, your ability to discuss the deeper things of life. You have one more year ... 40 years! What a great age to ask about maturity, How I understand you and I admire you for your insight so touching! (#BE!)

    The lyrics of the song you mention are very beautiful and also bring to mind many questions about the past and present, on how age should shape our thoughts or not, but of course, in relation to my faith, the size it should be on our maturity and the pursuit of wisdom, like Christ, our perfect example.

    Should I reassure you, about YOU ? ... Maybe ... :))
    So, if you allow me, I would say oh I think your greatest success is the education of your children and their development that I see through their eyes, and it rarely wrong ! ...
    Yes, Matthew, personally I think it took you, very early in life, a lot of wisdom and courage to get to guide a right way your children in the middle of this hectic world ! BRAVO !
    I don’t doubt that you will continue to "grow" in wisdom inside, because you are on the right path! May you continue to turn you to the highest wisdom, that of God, who by his love helps us to clear our doubts and penalties when the "storm" blowing over our lives.

    I personally also felt some inner struggle, because I was not always "easy" when I was younger. At 47, I realize that, yes, despite the temptation to curb some impulsive tendencies, the ideal remains more demanding than ever, inviting all those who pursue maturity in faith, to question and to self-analysis.

    Here are my thoughts about maturity...

  2. PART 1/4
    By Maryse CANOVAS


    If wisdom just came with age, it should learn from what life offers us experiences. Yet some in the same context, but at different ages, seem more "wise" than others ... .then I think this is certainly not always and necessarily a question of age, but wants to be and to stay on the long road that is mature, throughout our lives.

    Our inner life is a place of contrasts because of our imperfection, our simple state, as a human, and continue maturity as an ideal in our life, is not easy.

    One of the biggest flaws of man is only judges on appearance, on what is seen, not the actual state of things.
    Thus, for some, it happens to acquire wealth in this world is often perceived as an intelligent person, who was able to be better than others, demonstrate analytical and sometimes reckless.

    For me, faith makes me see things from a different perspective based on the values that God gives us in his word the Bible.
    I think it is important to keep back and a balance in relation to material success because in the words of Proverbs chapter 15 verse 16: "Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and confusion with ".
    Because I think the money is unable to meet all the needs of men; The life of a person does not make the wealth it has, as said Jesus Christ in Luke chapter 12 and verses 15 to 21.

    And I wondered what it meant to "be good" early because I was inconsistent throughout my childhood, between an attitude that characterized early child I was and that the hectic world around me sometimes carried me toward what I didn’t really want to be.

  3. PART 2/4
    By Maryse CANOVAS


    I assumed before my teens that wisdom implied a certain breadth of knowledge, but also a certain depth of understanding.
    And if wisdom assumes some knowledge, which one? And how can one acquire it?
    I read about it in the Bible an uplifting passage in Proverbs chapter 4 and verse 7: "Wisdom is the principal thing. Get wisdom; and with all that you acquire, acquire understanding. "

    But you notice like me, Matthew, i is not mentioned age or limited to that ... then would it not be a lifelong pursuit of life?

    In my reading, I noticed that the review of the great philosophies of the past helps to highlight the many metamorphoses of the ideal of adult maturity, but as the fact that it does not necessarily mean a stable state, but undefined process by which we gain experience, responsibility and authenticity, and thus progress and work on ourselves, whose age should be only a simple reflection....

    As a teenager, age arrives doubts and real questions that can upset any human being who chooses to direct his consciousness to the continuing maturity.
    If we decide to be sufficiently "wise" to achieve calm "storms" that can pass through our lives, we must seek in building our inner wisdom ... But what ?


    Indeed, I think that a good foundation for our personal construction, the way of Christ is the best because it took the simple example of a house, and Matthew 7 verse 24 to 27 illustrate wishing well the ability of the "prudent man" who chooses to build his house on the "rock", the latter representing the teaching of our Lord.
    It is for me one of the best teachings of Christ, because we can deduce that raising a child by building on the "rock" will allow it to build a strong future in faith, knowledge of the greater of wisdoms! And I know that's what you did, Matthew! You really congratulate for this !


  4. PART 3/4
    By Maryse CANOVAS


    In the example of Christ as I mentioned earlier, a spring quality is prudence.
    The teaching of a father to his child guess if the child is wise, it is because he has "heard" his father, as a Master, bearer of knowledge, which will result wisdom more later ...

    Again, this implies a choice on the part of the child, to be taught to respect and place children with humility.


    The child is also devoid of certain experiences that tone of her easy prey for hungry world of emotions and superficialities.
    Therefore, it seems that the human being who wishes to become wise to become an accomplished man, within the limits of what mortal and fragile man can be sure, but it does not let fooled by appearances .

    Some choose not to take the path of Wisdom, for fear of being confronted with their responsibilities as adults, is what is known in psychology, the "Peter Pan Syndrome" invented by James Matthew Barrie early 20th century who fled in order to remain a careless child. This "confinement" in the world of childhood and allowed him to avoid all the responsibilities inherent to the world of adults.
    People who suffer from this syndrome are emotionally stuck at the threshold of adolescence. Their operation is often impulsive, guided only by emotions.
    There is the difference with the faith that allows you to be on the road to maturity, because it demonstrates the behavior more than beliefs.

    The "spiritual life" includes conduct and character. Beliefs must therefore be confirmed by the behavior. Our works must be consistent with our convictions.

  5. PART 4/4
    By Maryse CANOVAS

    Perhaps, by making certain choices ?.... Like :

    • In interested in learning about the Bible:
    2 Timothy Chapter 3 Verse 16 says, "All Scripture (the Bible) is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction [" educate "as some translations] in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. »
    Thus, we focus on the teaching of the Master, Jesus Christ, for "In him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge! "(Colossians chapter 2 verse 3)
    • Imitating men of excellence. "He who frequents the wise becomes wise ..." (Proverbs chapter 13 verse 20)

    • In developing good habits, including in relation to the management of our time, our money and our relationships.

    • To have a sense of perspective to step back to gain stability, balance, and therefore have a sense of priorities, not to pursue trivialities.

    • [The Apostle Paul tells us about this (in Galatians chapter 5 verses 19-23) of what we need to reject (the works of the flesh) and in opposition, we need to continue in us disciplining in life (the fruit of the spirit)].

    • From walking in the "Truth": Be men and women of convictions, security holders while being tolerant, good friends, but soft on people consistent in their words and deeds ... In addition, the "Truth" frees our conscience, according to the words of Christ in John chapter 8 verses 31 and 32) [...] "If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples (...) and you shall know the truth, and the truth you release. "

    • To develop our personal gifts and become "co-creator" Birth, in fact, does not make us "beings completed" but become and we should be aware of the potentialities that are given by our Creator, to each of us.
    In the book of Psalms (Chapter 139th verse 14), David says a wonderful thing to his Creator, on the subject: "I praise you because of how awesome I am actually a wonderful way. Your works are wonderful, as my soul is well aware. "

    • To develop our character, in the uprightness of faith: to become like the wisdom we want to acquire "peaceful, moderate [not excessive] conciliatory [not quarrelsome], full of mercy [so we must forgive as our Lord forgive us] and good fruits, free from partiality, and without hypocrisy. (Jacques chapter 3 verse 17)

    • Accept setbacks and, more generally, to break with the current culture of immediacy. Because I think in fact that patience can moderate our "storms" inside.

    • To forward to allow others to go further than we, and so love without asking anything in return ... which requires us to love of potential heirs, that is to say, give to them, so that our memory is forever a reflection of our wisdom gained throughout our lives.
    That's what your mother, Janice has done for you, and that, I am sure you continue to do for your children and other members of your family, Matthew.

    These are my feelings about what evoked in me the lyrics of this beautiful song you quote us with so much depth and MATURITY, Matthew !!

    Thank you again for sharing !
    May God continue to bless you and your wonderful family, Matthew ! 

    Maryse :)

  6. You should write more often. You have a gift of putting things in a way that totally makes sense. I don't know what storms you've had to face in your life, I believe we all have storms we have to pass through and in a lot of ways it can be really crappy. I also believe, whether they be storms of our own making or just the storms life throws at us, there is value in them. I won't go into detail about the storms I've struggled through in my life but I can tell you, I am a completely different person because of them. I know that because of these storms I was able to change and become a better person, and I also know it would have been really hard to do that, had life given me all that I wanted. How blessed we are to be able to change. We may not be able to fix the mistakes we've made in the past but we can become better people through them. There is ONE who can calm any storm. We just have to turn to him. Thank you for your thoughts. They were appreciated tonight.

  7. Part 1/3
    Author : Maryse CANOVAS



    One day, on a station platform, I saw an old luggage leather, worn, and its owner was mature. This old baggage spoke to me, all that I love, the vintage side that always attracted me.
    I think the mark of time, brings to objects like people, charm and personality that makes them so unique.
    I love the difference and the idea that one can be, for example, like islands as the ocean and the weather would make beautiful by their "wild" side and attractive by the uniqueness of the relief.

    I was so touched, that's true, your comment on the "storm inside", but what I especially pleasantly challenged, that's what you wrote on age.
    What I find beautiful in your comment is that you do not see negative things about your 40, you don’t ressents as a burden, a burden, but rather that you are capable of making a mature look the value of experience, makes you wiser and more attractive ... again! :) (But must you remember Matthew ?? :))

    I still wish if you allow course, enjoy your blog to give my impressions of the beauty of age against storms and what I saw around me about aging.

    Too many men and women have been rocked by a culture of self-image, which they think they have to match, not to be rejected, or at least may be not included.
    The hegemony of the "Barbie doll" made so many victims and continues to do, both men, who would like to marry a woman who looks like Barbie, that women themselves who too often their personal reference that men could love unconditionally. : (

    I shall desire to write this because I assume and hope that your values are very different from those stereotypes because they are based on faith, in the belief that your intelligence is located well beyond the criteria that the world wants us mentally absorb.
    I have neither a revolutionary spirit or mental ported to regression or a wait, but simply can be a CONSERVATIVE SPIRIT OF TRADITIONAL AND SPIRITUAL VALUES ;

  8. Part 2/3
    Author : Maryse CANOVAS


    The experience ... As middle age, inspires a magnetic beauty, overwhelming emotion that communicate such a touching picture of what has been, in the past and its values with which he was charged!

    Behind this, I just evoking a journey on a path not always easy, which separated a young man of an old man as a metaphor for life, a picture of the time that is increasingly shorter the idea of an inevitable encounter, but so full of love and hope, dreams and emotions around this future meeting ... The story of a life that goes through a self-fulfillment because individuation, is a solo challenge in the progression of life called "age".

    I mention this is to say that sometimes the people and things that have passed through trials and years of internal struggle, which reveals embellish the present, but sometimes with more beauty than those who refuse to accept this that the tests can make to their personality. How else could one explain the charm and charisma of some people mature, able to inspire, fascinate others, without even realizing it, just through the wisdom that emanates from their being.

    Personally, I like anything that has a lived history, worn by time and objects that evoke the sublime way of work, marked, shaped by use, the experience of years, sometimes sharing, travel, or continuity of life, and therefore have not been sacrificed on the altar of contemporary values. But my convictions does not capture everyone ... and I know that I must still respect the opinions of others without endorsing them.

    In my humble opinion, our society advocates too often beauty, with an artificial aesthetic by data reprocessing, a youth despite age, in short, an "advertising block" of beauty.
    But it does not change a look by decree, and I am personally not in favor of working of consciences through virtual and inconsistent values ; Because such references pushes the reality of our very essence of God's creatures, human and imperfect.
    Yes, why do so many people they see their age as an enemy that must be fought at all costs? Why do you want, sometimes at whatever cost, to constitute "Don Quixote" of the age with the desire to go against the natural?
    Perhaps because of the conditioning that all aesthetic merchants and superficiality implanted in the minds of a generation addict seem.

    To love what the weather, despite himself, made more beautiful through some wealth, any eye does not see (because some things will not perceive with the eyes), can make different, unless you have decided to being in an availability of heart, a different sensitivity and little understood, I am aware.
    I do not want to despise, deny natural years, which would for me to move our values to a navel-sterile illusion This would hardly more to me than a devaluation, a rejection of the self-image, as we seek to gain acceptance as a standard, which would find its justification in the dependence of the gaze of the other.
    Because for most of our contemporaries, to age was unfortunately not a positive impact.
    Thus, what the years have taught me the most, it might be patience, that quality which knows to welcome the time! In fact, be more patient, advancing in age, it's finally being able to give time to time on the other.

  9. Part 3/3
    Author: Maryse CANOVAS


    Our inner storms are the result of some degree of our emotional immaturity.
    Because this emotional immaturity manifests itself in various forms and with different levels of defense.
    The best way to combat these inner storms might be not to deny that the years can bring us if we keep an open mind, and seize opportunities to practice introspection (which is apparently your case, Matthew because I always find that your thoughts have an extraordinary introspective look!).

    Indeed, in the words of Bernard CLAIRVAUX, "No one is, so extensive it may be, can achieve the fullness of wisdom, without self-knowledge."
    However, the saying "Not quite older, quite young," says that men are aware that at forty, there may be an existential malaise.
    Thus, in the mature man physically, the effect of "awareness" can reveal a deep state of wisdom if the maturity is also internally, and then invested an ability to calm the "storms" felt before, and c 'is the charm of your age so beautiful and your personality, Matthew !!

    Yes, Matthew, for your insight, you know conjugate the present to the future by being able to realize your inner realities and see your past in your victories thy forty years transformed into beauty crown! Congratulations Matthew !! :D

    THANK YOU again for sharing.



  10. They say God never gives anyone more than they can handle, however, I don't remember reading that in the Bible anywhere. Although, I wish God would slow down and hit the breaks a bit, so, I could come up for air! Bahahaha!������ I really like Stand by Rascal Flatts and this saying " A true test of ones Character, is what it takes to stop you"! B. Jones
    Ouch!, sometimes it's hard too see past the trials God gives and see the possibilities that open up because we persevered, but, anything worth it doesn't come easy.������

  11. Being a single parent of a young man with Autism, is the hardest challenge yet a rewarding one. Although, I realize there are more challenges ahead, God is always with us! When challenges come (storms) I found this quote to be true, "Be strong enough to stand alone, be yourself enough to stand apart, but be wise enough to stand together when the time comes", unknown
    We even have a family motto. God bless yours.



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