Friday, June 17, 2011

You know something... share? or don't share!?!

Situation: You know something and have the upper hand in every way!!... Yet you are faced with the decision of swashing your adversary with it, or holding it in reserve, to never be known, or divulged. Which road would YOU take?...and more importantly...WHY?


  1. To share or not to share…. Good question!
    Eventhough I thought a lot before writing… my answer is always the same, I can't help it: I'd hold it in reserve instead of using it and cause damage or hurt someone.
    There's no need to swash the adversary with it, I choose the fair play,victory tastes better!!

  2. Marihuska, thank you for your response. What if "using it" and squashing your adversary will avoid more damage long term. Kind of like the bully that needs to be put in their place...??
    Is there ever a senario that would cause you to squash em? Or always take the high road, just keep it inside, and "live and let live."..,?

  3. Matthew, first of all, thank you for reading my post.
    Regarding to your question...what a dilemma! If using it I can avoid a greater damage to other people, obviously I'll be considering to use it, but my parents taught me to go through life without hurting or to causing harm to anyone, because God cares us and in one way or another makes justice...

  4. I have to agree with Marihuska - Just because you can hurt someone, doesn't mean you need to take the opportunity. Look at the big picture and if it is something that needs to be taken care of because it can cause future damage, then find a tactful way to do it. But, if it is just to have the upper hand, then hold it in and take the high road.

    Now for the "why?" - Over the last few years, I have lived this scenario with someone that was supposed to be my soul mate and because we had 4 children together I could not make this about hurting bigger pictured included these 4 precious souls. Many times I held in what I felt I should, was that always the right decision? I don't know. But, I do know that I will not live with regrets of having hurt someone that my children love.

  5. Is it kinda like a bully or is it a bully? I'd figure a way in-between the 2 and try to be a shield and love on and try to strengthen and lift up the one being bullied... and I would fight back with a spirit of love for the other because its even more obvious of a deficit of love needing to be filled(thats were you truly know something and have an upper hand being Gods hand on you to do a work)... so neither smash or hold in reserve(that thing) because that something would desire to take over or influence the flesh(make a home be the centerfold be a foothold in the center of your life). It's an illusion that you are holding something it if it is really holding you.

  6. This is one of those case by case scenarios, and without knowing all the details, its hard to give a good response. If there is a way to creatively do something that gets an outcome you desire, I'd try to seek that way. But your own motives are important. Ask why you are wanting to do whatever you're contemplating. There's always the chance that it might "blow back" with an unintended consequence that you did not count on. If I would have to make a decision based on limited information, I would say holding it in reserve is the better option. Karmically speaking, as well.

    However, last year, I had information that I could've used against someone at work and I withheld it even though every part of me wanted to reveal what I knew. Now, that information is lost to time and I didn't personally benefit from withholding the information. But in the unseen world of spirit, perhaps I saved myself from karmic payback in the future. Sometimes, if we have power over someone and act with mercy and compassion, it sets into motion a positive chain reaction, which is better than a vindictive, ego-based divulging of information that brings embarrassment or ruin to another person. Best wishes!

  7. I have loved the comments to this entry. They have once again, enlightened me and helped me in my life. I thank those that have shared their thoughts!
    I suppose to share or hold back... One should ask... What is driving the outcome? If ego is propelling you to share, then best to refrain, hold in reserve, and check you premise. If love is driving you, and sharing would only be to help or benefit another..? Then, perhaps sharing would be necessary and appropriate. Interesting how the ego tries to live, by squashing others, only to try to elevate ourselves. There's a better way, and we ARE better than that!
    Once again, I'm grateful for your comments.

  8. I have to agree with the assessment that the reason WHY you want to divulge the information, or wield the power over your adversary, is one the biggest things to consider.

    Yes, if the information can positively change an outcome, or minimize the collateral damage later, than this is an important consideration. If, however, you just want to show off or demean the other person, than the information needs to be held back. Really...does it matter who "wins"?

    I'll admit, I'm a HIGHLY competitive person, but as I've grown older I've found that winning isn't everything (of course, my older brother constantly beating me/one upping me on nearly everything helped to speed up that realization). I've found that the only "prize" I ever really aim for is having the last word...but only if the words are "I'm sorry" or "I love you."

  9. What goes around comes around. Treat them how you would hope to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot. One day you'll be rewarded for your actions... guess it's Karma?

  10. Thats a great question I would probably hold it back. The truth has a way of coming out eventually, I would let nature takes it course. If of course the information were to save someones life then that would be a different story I would give the information, but otherwise God has a good grapple on letting the truth out at some point.

  11. Sounds like you have a dilemma and need help knowing what to do. Depends on the situation. If that person's life was in danger or if their actions put someone elses in danger,then morally you should step in. If they're a good friend,then you need to step in. But we make our own choices and have to live with the consequences of those choices. I think keeping it to yourself is the best. Why? Because you are a better person for doing so and the person in the wrong will always know you had the chance but never took it. Integrity.

  12. Hi Matt, I've just listened to your songs and loved them! Congrats!!
    Sorry for using this space to comment about them but there's no other place to do it.

  13. Our actions reflect who we are so in deciding I would want to be merciful, kind & helpful, lifting in every way. :)

  14. Dear Matt,
    I have just recently began reading your blog and I am very impressed with the insightful content, rather than the shallow ramblings that fill most blogs these days. I am one who does not share unless I deem it absolutely necessary. A good friend once said that my mouth does not move without a purpose and my voice does not sound without a reason. I also have to admit however that my slightly oversized ego may influence that decision to share or not share because I happen to love having possession of a secret that influences another person. Like the Mona Lisa's legendary smile I hold all of the cards and can keep people wondering. It's a force to be reckoned with.

  15. I think this question all depends on the situation for me. If I had something to use against my adversary, I might use it if I felt I could gain respect by it. But that's like ruling by fear, or disgrace. Lau Tzu said (paraphrasing here) "to gain respect or honor from those around you, you need to seek to serve the lowest to reach the highest point. So I think the best solution would be to hold back, and just try to be kind. If all you are giving to the adversary kindness and love, then sooner or later that adversary could become a friend. It would be very hard to do that though.

  16. For me it is not clear what is meant under the “advantage”.
    If it is someone’s secret – it should be kept thoroughly. We can hurt really deep by revealing it. No need to be mean.
    If it is some error that one’s made (if it is indeed the one, and not a misunderstanding), why should we say it out loud – for seeming more perfect in contrast to that person?! It won’t work in the end. We all do mistakes, constantly!
    If it is information which if reserved can cause problem to someone? Then, I think, in order to protect him or her we must warn (only that person) about the consequences. And we should not “wave a flag” or scream out insinuations against the “bad guy”, maybe we should rather try to talk to him (her) to find out reasons and/or solution.
    Anyway we should judge less and for one’s part make an effort to be better.
    However, these were just my thoughts on the topic, another chance to meditate if I’m taking a wrong course.



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