Friday, March 4, 2011

New songs ahead... :)

I have been gone for quite some time now with work and a bit of personal travel... Fun to be out there and see the world, and all that it has to offer. A bit lonely at times, but still fun. The great people, the beautiful vistas, and of course the missing of home... which makes it that much better to finally walk into to my own home and feel of its stability and recharging affect that only "home" can bring. Michael Buble sings a song entitled "Home"... Singing of "Another summer day, Has come and gone away, In Paris and Rome, But I wanna go home.... May be surrounded by, A million people I, Still feel all alone, I just wanna go home, Oh, I miss you, you know"... I know what this feels like. I speak to thousands of people in my conferences and meet so many people out on the road...yet all to still feel alone. I admit that I isolate myself off a lot from people and am quite internal in my life. Few people know me, and in fact...most don't. I write this and it probably sounds like the beginnings of a "poor me" blog entry, yet in fact, its quite the contrary. Its an admission to the fact that I have liked it this way. To me, there has been peace and quiet in only allowing some people into my life and then keeping most out. Right or wrong...I don't know, but those people I do "let in"... I take care of them and want them to soar higher and higher. I do feel like I have a lot to offer as a friend and possible even partner.

A while ago I had a favorite song called "Perfectly Lonely" by John Mayer. "I'm perfectly lonely, yeah... Cause I don't belong to anyone, Nobody belongs to me"... Fine being just me (and my kiddos of course)...less drama, and easy to just do my own thing, and not worry about others... Things have changed as of lately, and the latter part of that song rings true to me now... "And this is not to say, There never comes a day, I'll take my chances and start again. And when I look behind, On all my younger times, I'll have to thank the wrongs, that led me to a love so strong"... That is me (at least right now...haha) It's awesome to believe that's possible.

Fun to think about the possibility of letting someone in, as long as it's right (for us BOTH)...and watch and feel it all come together. Don't want to feel the Michael Buble "alone" anymore... Hope not to forever... I didn't like the "John Mayer "Perfectly Lonely" either... On to new songs that might have a "I was made to love... YOU". That song sounds good to me! :) Haha, I guess we'll see, but I'm open to it, so much more than before.


  1. It's better to have a handful of close, trustworthy friends who love you as you are, than to have a room full of people who know you on the outside and want to change you.
    Yay for love!!! lol :)

  2. I agree with that Kate! "Trustworthy friends who love you as you are"... Those are the people that will be with you always and stand the test of time. They accept you and themselves, and understand the word "love". They genuinely LOVE and are present with you and others. There's a whole other subject... "Being present"!!
    Maybe to be explored another time though...

    Thank you for the comment... Fun to go back and forth!

  3. Hi Matthew

    Your latest blog really hit home for me....I have felt lonely even in a room full of my own family, in fact, I often feel more alone surrounded by people then I actually do when I'm by myself. The Michael Buble tracks "home" and "lost" are like soundtracks to my life....but we can always change the record huh? Its so easy to be alone rather then go through the potential strains and hurt that a relationship may cause.... maybe we should remember the beauty a relationship can bring can far out weigh the bad times. Enough of being 'alone' I think I have talked myself round :) I'm going to try and produce a new soundtrack for 2011 !

  4. Hi! I can relate to what your talking about. I've always felt comfortable with being alone. Growing up an only child I got use to being alone. My go to song when I feel lonely though is La Sasion Des Pluis by Stacy Kent. It feels like a rainy season when I feel lonely. Then I switch to some upbeat music from the 80's and dance around lol :)

  5. As an introvert, I've never had a problem being alone or in the company of just another person. I've always been better at one-on-one than being in groups. However, the loneliest I've ever felt was my years at BYU in the late 1990s. I was non-LDS, so that made the experience even more lonely!

    I agree with the idea that changing your song can change your life. For most of the 2000s, I considered U2's "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of It" as my song, since I was stuck in a job that I really hated. When I saw a life coach, she suggested changing my song, even though I loved that song (still do). So, I took her advice and discovered "Greatest Day" by Take That. I would listen to this song each morning as my invocation to the day. Wow, what an impact! It truly transformed my reality. I love the lines: "This could be the greatest day of our lives..." Powerful song: lyrics, melody, and video!

    Great blog by the way. Wish you much success, Matthew! You seem like a genuine guy.

  6. Hi!
    To be alone and to by lonely it is the fundamental difference. I do not wish anyone loneliness, but to be alone hm... at my sweet home.... it sounds wonderfull to me ;) I can understand your joy, Matthew :D
    I have a small house, somewhere in central Europe, in lovely mountain town. I have my beloved husband here (the same for 21 years), my wonderfull children, my family visiting us from time to time, our friends visiting us often, friends of my children also visiting us, and doing many things, the most important in the world, together (eating much, plaing more, and sleeping to little).We also work of course. I love my life. I feel satisfied, and happy, but a moments when I coud spend alone at home resting, listenig the music or simply beeing in God's presence are a great treasure. Sometimes in my daily life I miss them. Maybe some day I will miss the pace of life today, but I hope always feel god alone with God, and with myself. It will be possible when I will be in harmony with my conscience, and with Him - my Lord. I wish You that. By the way, You are very romantic man - Matthew :) Thank You for Your movie! It is a great testimony.
    Greetings from old Europe!

    I apologize for any errors, my Englich is still subject to work.

  7. Matt;
    I certainly feel privileged to have been let in as far as you have thus far. Those who you do allow in are blessed because of it. While I am a social butterfly (or caterpillar), I would say that only few actually 'know' me. In fact, I would say that there are those people in my life who know me better than even my mother or family members. Because 'knowing' someone is more than merely being associates or able to spend time with them shooting the breeze and having fun. To so many, this is all relationships are about-the easy, fun exciting stuff. I can do that with anyone, but 'knowing' and being 'known' is so much deeper, and so much more intimate and is rare to find. The Micheal Buble song you shared was interesting. It has been a song that has brought meaning to my life after James died. "May be surrounded by, A million people I, Still feel all alone, I just wanna go home, Oh, I miss you, you know" It was his song. I was surrounded by so many people, yet I wanted to go 'home' to heaven because I missed him so. I am grateful I don't feel like I wanna go 'home' to heaven anymore; not yet at least, I have too much living to do and too much to accomplish!. But I do long for the day to go 'home' to an earthly 'home' where I feel it is complete and full because of the relationships built within the walls therein. But one song that has rung true to me that I love is by Ingrid Michealson. It has especially pertained to me the last few months as my heart was broken for the first time in my life. It's a crummy feeling, and one that makes people scared to do it all again. I understand how people get to a point where they don't want to let someone in- out of fear of it resulting in pain. Sadly, that was what happened in my last relationship. Ultimately, he couldn't let me in because of the pain others had caused him.

    We have fallen down again tonight
    In this world it’s hard to get it right
    Try to make your heart feel like a glove
    What it needs is love, love, love

    Everybody, everybody wants to love
    Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
    Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

    Happy is the heart that still feels pain
    Darkness drains and light will come again
    Swing open up your chest and let it in
    Just let the love, love, love begin...

    That is just part of the song, but my favorite part nonetheless. "Happy is the heart that still feels pain. Darkness drains and light will come again." If your heart is capable of still feeling pain, it's capable of feeling love. If you've loved once, you can love again.

  8. We all put up walls and masks, it's what keeps us safe from judgment of others. It's what keeps us from sharing that intimate part of ourselves that we want to keep sacred because we know that others won't or don't quite understand how deep our emotions are. I wanted to say thank you for helping me find that deeper part of me that has seemed to have been lost through years of hardships. I have started my own blog. The following is one of my first posts. Thank you again.

    I rarely get homesick but I feel it creeping in on me this evening. Sometimes I feel as though all I need is to feel my bare feet on the desert dirt for a few minutes and I will feel whole. As if there would be this moment where everything would finally come to focus....instant inner peace.

    I have seen my fair share of the country. I fell in love with the history of Boston. Felt the overwhelming sense of urgency in New York City. Bathed in the crisp ocean breeze of Daytona Beach on a cool January day. Basked in southern hospitality in Texas and southern food in Georgia. Marveled in the serenity of the Utah landscape. What I truly miss is the sunset on the desert horizon in Arizona....home. The vivid colors that paint the sky are canvas worthy as the night sky begins to be glittered with stars. It could put Van Gogh's Starry Night to shame.

    There are some nights like this one that I can lay in the darkness of my room, listening to music, and call upon my memories of home. I grew up in a house that was situated nicely on a desert mountain. At night I was able to gaze upon the city lights below but loved to keep my eyes looking toward the heavens. I found peace and comfort marveling at what beauty was before my eyes. But you haven't truly lived until you've stood in the desert rain. As a teenager I would stand in the rain with the warmth of the sun on my face. It felt as though I was being baptized by mother nature. I would forget about all of the hurt and sadness around me and revel in the beauty being offered to me. At night during monsoon season the night sky would put on a display of lights that poets could write about. I would sit back and watch as I played Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here which always seemed to be perfectly timed to what I was seeing in front of me. "Were just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl." I was a bit deep for a teenager, I think I may have an "old" soul.

    I have tried to recreate that feeling in my current location. I step outside my office, close my eyes, and lift my face toward the sun. I let the energy radiate my skin then penetrate my whole body. I am grateful and in awe of the nature I am surrounded by. Virginia has is perks. I get to enjoy all four seasons. The anticipation of falls arrival has me giddy. I have selected my location carefully so that I can enjoy the changing of leaves on the horizon. I can feel the airs slight change. I can't wait, but I still miss my desert sky.

    Wow!!! As I write this reply to your post U2's In Gods Country comes to mind. That is the song I should have been listening to when I wrote the post for my blog. It is amazing how music and compliment our personal thoughts.



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