Dissecting it all

" Dissect hate and you'll find that it's nothing more than love wearing shields and armor. Dissect trust and it's nothing more than expectations satisfied. Dismantle wisdom and you'll find that it's nothing more than the shaded area of an overlap of experiences. Dismantle miracles and you'll find that they are nothing more than a reflection of your defying acts. Now dismantle yourself and see that you are a chamber of light."
Tiyu Zafu --- Submitted by Samantha Levy --- California

Are we "Keepers"..?

Simplify simplify simplify... That is what my mind keeps telling me these days. Over the years I have tried to rid my life of that which causes havoc and grief, and keep those things which spawn goodness and pleasure. Now, that doesn't mean to throw out anything that doesn't go my way, and keep whatever has a bow wrapped around it. However I have put much thought into that line which is pretty undefined. Where does one draw that line? That decision between keeping or letting go...(a job, a situation, or perhaps even a person)

“The way to find out about happiness is to keep your mind on those moments when you feel most happy, when you are really happy — not excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy. This requires a little bit of self-analysis. What is it that makes you happy? Stay with it, no matter what people tell you. This is what is called following your bliss.”

:Joseph Campbell

As I've analyzed that question, I have also asked myself whether or not I am the kind of person that people would want to keep around. Do I, in fact, add to the lives of others? Do I bring value to an equation? Valid questions for I believe they go hand in hand. If I am to hope for value; then I must ask whether or not I am VALUable enough to have value returned unto me. Am I a keeper?:). Am I a producer or am I only apt to take, that which is produced by another?
The law of attraction is one of BEING that which we ask the universe to return unto us...
Am I BEING? Not "have I been" (for that indicates the past)...But RIGHT NOW... Am I BEING the type of person that i want to attract? Do I merit that which I seek? Or am I sitting back full of entitlement..?

I suppose that before we let something go in our lives, we should analyze ourselves first... Sometimes it's ok to let things go their way...away from us. Yet others we SHOULD hold onto, even when it's difficult... for they add to and beautify life...

Hard line to draw... So I would say I wanted to share (and invite comments on) two thoughts... When is it better to let things go? And two...to analyze if I (you as the reader) am someone that others should let go of...or do I add to life as a whole to be counted as a "KEEPER"....? :)

Conditioned response

The inability to accept that people aren't perfect, mixed with a poor and even angry reaction when someone tells you they have messed up (in the effort to be honest)...perpetuates the telling party, to not tell again.  EVER!

Example:  Child comes to parent and is honest that they have messed up.  Broken the rules, broke something, or made a mistake and is now "coming clean"... If that child is be-rated, scolded, or met with anything other than a listening ear, then that child will most likely not ever try that route ever again.  We touch the stove and learn that it's hot, we learn to not touch it again... Child tells the truth and is met with anger and temper?...then that child becomes conditioned to not want to share and "come clean"...

Children (all of us) mess up, and this does not mean that there should be no consequences for their actions.  Yet facing an abusive (emotionally or physically) parent, when they want to be truthful should not be one of those consequences.

I once saw a set of steps that one would follow to correct their mistakes:
1.  Recognize and admit that wrong has been done
2.  Ask for forgiveness from those that were wronged
3.  Make restitution for that which was done... Correct and make right that which was wronged
4.  Never repeat the mistake and leave it behind

Interesting that those 4 steps do not include "expect to be be-rated by someone along the way and/or face the wrath of your parent(s)."

Parents (every day) teach their children to hide and not tell the truth, because they will not listen with a level head.  We should love our children enough to listen without reaction.  Consequences can be decided and explained WITHOUT belittling comments or anger!
Children that learn to avoid being truthful and hide their actions, eventually will do that with a lover and eventually their spouse.  The way kids learn to communicate in their childhood and adolescent years WILL shape the rest of their lives!

Does this happen in relationships too?  YES!... Truth is told, reactions are given and measured,.. and we condition each other to either share openly, or hide and avoid the whole truth.

What's the key?  Be in control of yourself enough to not react.  Keep a level head (no matter what) and remain in control of your own emotions.  Take time to digest if you need to, so that your response is done with dignity and control.  Easier said than done sometimes, yet SO SO important that we learn the skill of "responding with control" instead of "reacting without control." 

Love enough to listen!