Be Still...

The illusion of reality. How many times have we all experienced things in our lives, and then ask...Is this real? Weather the experience is good or bad... The ability to distinguish the difference between things that just happen and actual reality...

You meet someone, they are nice and/or cute and attractive, and they show what they want to show you, and you begin to think that you know them because of what you were shown... Do you really ever know someone by only what they are willing "to show"... Is that real? No, it really isn't. I guess interaction needs to start somewhere, and as we begin to get to know someone, the surface must be seen, yet then, over time, the as layers are peeled back, the persons' real self begins to come through. Most times, people are very different to what they let on, or project. I've done this too, and have sometimes been proud of what I really am, and other times, I've not been proud of what I've been. Being real and genuine is a rare thing these days. Something I have thought about so much over this last year... My Mother once asked me who I am... and I responded with things 'I do'..."I'm a Public Speaker. I'm a Film Producer. I'm a provider." ... She stopped me, and pointed out... "those are things you DO... But who are you"? It made me think. Do i know myself enough to actually answer that honestly? Do i even know the answer at all? At times Ihave felt like I know, others I admit I haven't known at all. I see people that entertain themselves, and are always rushing here and there...with this person, and now with that person... Do people ever take the time to face themselves, and learn who they REALLY are?... Are people willing to admit what they really are? Am I? Are we able to be honest enough with ourselves? Maybe... I would say for the most part, people don't because there is soooo much in the world today to entertain our minds, and "keep us going". Being still is a rare thing.

"Don't be afraid of the still waters, for that is where it's the deepest" Fast rapids that are always "on to the next" are shallow and short lived!... let them go onto the next...

"Be STILL, and know that I am God" (D&C)...

These are the thoughts in my mind right now... People that are in my life, or even re-entering my life... fast and seemingly entertained by shallow things of no meaning, are not attractive to me, and conflict with my soul... Things of meaning and substance are of interest to me...
Not to ALWAYS be heavy-handed, and Yes...I can relax and have fun...But sometimes, those still moments, that feed my soul... I want them, and even need them!

I can be still, not HAVE to be entertained constantly, and be ok with the silence... That's me!!

I would love to hear comments and hear what others think of this topic. What it means to YOU to "BE STILL"...

New songs ahead... :)

I have been gone for quite some time now with work and a bit of personal travel... Fun to be out there and see the world, and all that it has to offer. A bit lonely at times, but still fun. The great people, the beautiful vistas, and of course the missing of home... which makes it that much better to finally walk into to my own home and feel of its stability and recharging affect that only "home" can bring. Michael Buble sings a song entitled "Home"... Singing of "Another summer day, Has come and gone away, In Paris and Rome, But I wanna go home.... May be surrounded by, A million people I, Still feel all alone, I just wanna go home, Oh, I miss you, you know"... I know what this feels like. I speak to thousands of people in my conferences and meet so many people out on the road...yet all to still feel alone. I admit that I isolate myself off a lot from people and am quite internal in my life. Few people know me, and in fact...most don't. I write this and it probably sounds like the beginnings of a "poor me" blog entry, yet in fact, its quite the contrary. Its an admission to the fact that I have liked it this way. To me, there has been peace and quiet in only allowing some people into my life and then keeping most out. Right or wrong...I don't know, but those people I do "let in"... I take care of them and want them to soar higher and higher. I do feel like I have a lot to offer as a friend and possible even partner.

A while ago I had a favorite song called "Perfectly Lonely" by John Mayer. "I'm perfectly lonely, yeah... Cause I don't belong to anyone, Nobody belongs to me"... Fine being just me (and my kiddos of course)...less drama, and easy to just do my own thing, and not worry about others... Things have changed as of lately, and the latter part of that song rings true to me now... "And this is not to say, There never comes a day, I'll take my chances and start again. And when I look behind, On all my younger times, I'll have to thank the wrongs, that led me to a love so strong"... That is me (at least right now...haha) It's awesome to believe that's possible.

Fun to think about the possibility of letting someone in, as long as it's right (for us BOTH)...and watch and feel it all come together. Don't want to feel the Michael Buble "alone" anymore... Hope not to forever... I didn't like the "John Mayer "Perfectly Lonely" either... On to new songs that might have a titles...like: "I was made to love... YOU". That song sounds good to me! :) Haha, I guess we'll see, but I'm open to it, so much more than before.

Who's serving who?

I wake in the morning and freshen up for the day... When I have my children with me, I wake them up, and get them going and get them off to school. Other than when the kids are with me? It's quiet... I like the silence of the day (or night). Time and space to read, write, and think...

I have recently however, had a dear friend (and his 4 kids) move in with me due to extenuating circumstances. Its only for a short time as the older of the kids are heading out to serve LDS missions soon, and the Father (my friend) will also be leaving. They have only been with me for a few months now. They are respectful of my home, and have been a joy to have around.

As we gathered today to eat lunch... Two Dads, and kids surrounding the table, it hit me that in less than 30 days...they will all be gone. My home will once again be empty and silent. I admit that I have grown accustomed to having my good friend near. We share ideals and ideas, as we both are learning to quiet the storms that arise from within. To live peacefully in a world with so many things that we could worry about, yet we are both seeing that it's better to let go of the past, not assume the future, but live today, and praise God for the gift that today truly is! We work our own business ventures, raise and counsel our children. We work hard and long on that which to us matters, and we hang and shoot a game of pool when time permits. He has been a wonderful friend. But once again... soon to be gone for a long season ahead. I know that he is grateful for me sharing my home, and he and his family show their gratitude in word and deed... Yet what they do not see is how much I have been the receiver and NOT the giver. They have allowed me to be a part in their loves and contribute. Who benefits more...the giver or the receiver? Giving and receiving are one in the same. Having the powerful spirits of two young men preparing to depart on full time missions, where they will be eating, sleeping, and breathing the gospel of Jesus Christ. What a spirit they bring with them, as they have been here. My son and daughter have been around that and have notably recognized their powerful influence. This family has given me the opportunity to serve and give, they have taught me and my children to believe in and chase dreams. They have shown humility and honor as they have turned to God for answers and guidance. They have been here without any expectations or assumptions... Only positive gratitude and love (which actually makes me want to give more and more).

My heart is saddened as I see them beginning to depart and leave. Yet my heart is also full because I have been given the chance to love and share, more than before. How undeserving I feel when they thank me... It is I that thank them for allowing me to take part in their lives in such a small and tiny way. Small as my contribution has been, I have benefited the most in a feeling of purpose and love. I have been able to see that love is alive and real when we serve and give. How and why do I so easily forget the promise from The Lord. "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it." (Matthew 16:25)

They have reminded me that this life is about helping each other get to the other side. May we all be less selfish, and more selfless... and strive to be "in the service of our fellow men, as we are only in the service of our God." How sweet is the joy that comes from such...

So I wanted to look around and share a bit... :)

I'll miss you guys so much... More than you'll know!!